The Markets

"The Markets" is the name of the opening segment of the True Capitalist Radio broadcast, done by your host, the man they call Ghost. The Markets begins about five minutes into the show, after Ghost plays his intro-jingle and introduces himself, and continues for about a half an hour to an hour.

Segment
Ghost summarizes the day in the markets and expands on the points he finds important. He goes through the major stock entities and continues through the commodities and futures, reading the data from Bloomberg's markets section. Ghost often stops and rants on Corn, Wool and Coffee, with each segment having a speech Ghost repeats on nearly a daily basis.

The speech on Corn consists of explaining how much high-fructose corn syrup is used in daily cuisine. He also explains how ethanol used to be extracted (and consequently burnt for fuel), which leads to him ranting about how Americans are burning food. Ghost claims this has stopped, because the American government has listened to his broadcast.

As far as wool goes, Ghost simply states that the Bull-Nose Bull Dykes are going to have to pay more money for wool sweaters, etc. Why Ghost correlates wool with lesbians is beyond any listener at this point of time.

Finally, Ghost's rant on coffee is the most boring, as he constantly rambles on about how young Americans contribute to the Junkyard America ideology by purchasing/consuming caffeine on a daily basis. He particularly hates people who use coffee as an excuse for being 'assholes' in the morning, claiming that he is instead 'naturally energized' by making money, and those who call him "un-American" for not drinking coffee - because "coffee isn't even made in America".

Ghost is known for always claiming to have made money even in bull markets. He usually takes time to advocate bottom feeding. By the end of the markets he is often already drinking some form of alcohol. He claims this is Johnnie Walker Blue Label. This doesn't support the cans theory.