Fuck You Texas

Fuck You Texas is a song originally posted on YouTube besmirching Texas. It was used on the True Capitalist Radio broadcast to troll Ghost, especially during the summer of 2011. Fuck You Texas is a song that would be chain-called (similar to Helen Keller Deaf Mutes and Ban All Bronies). Multiple callers would be amassed, and they would all play the song.

Ghost, like many from Texas, is proud of his state and his heritage and takes great offence to any insult or besmirching of what he calls "The Greatest State in the Union, if not the world!" This led to this song being spammed during Radio Graffiti. A video uploaded to YouTube by DarkRazorZ of the Radio Graffiti segment in Episode 111 featured this song being played by numerous callers, and Ghost raging over. The video instantly became popular after being posted on Reddit, funnyJunk, and other sites, and many newfags often call up playing the song. The song began to be overused by newfags to the point where Ghost stopped reacting to it as much as he did in June. In Episode 199, Ghost even sang part of it when it was played in a call.

After years of being considered the embodiment of newfaggotry, Fuck You Texas made a surprise comeback in Episode 292 and managed to piss off Ghost several times, due in part to it being the five-year anniversary of the original chain call in Episode 111. After the 3rd call, Ghost paused radio graffiti to proclaimed that he knew why the trolls were using this song. In total, there were 11 calls, with call #11 being the last call of the after show. Ghost wasn't amused at all, especially since a Texan number was part of the chain call.

The song made another comeback on Episode 414, with chain calls started by the Ukrainian caller formerly known as the African Booty Scratcher, and has once again pissed off Ghost. That show even ended with a Christmas version of it, which Ghost mistook for "circus-sideshow" music.

The song's most recent appearance was Saturday Night Show Episode 10, which incidentally was the last episode before The Break, bringing the show full circle and creating the amusing implication that years of Fuck You Texas might have finally driven Ghost off the Internet for good (although his reaction was as deadpan as ever).

Lyrics
Think 'bout a place that's hot as hell

'Bout drier than the bottom of a dried-out well

And I think ya know what Texas means to me

Ain't got no money, ain't got no jobs

The banks are all too poor to rob

And I'd like to say one thing 'fore I leave

Fuck you, Texas, and fuck your Lone Star Beer.

Fuck that fucking Alamo, and fuckin' long-horned steer.

Fuck every Dallas cowboy, that ever draw'd a breath

Fuck you, Texas, and fuck you plumb to death!

I work'd my fingers to the bone

But I knowed I wrote some pretty good songs

'Til I drew the wrath of the Texas LCB

They jerked my tunes off the honky-tonk

With a bullshit list of 'do's and 'don't's

They lock'd 'em up, and throw'd away the key.

Well, fuck you, Texas, and fuck your Lone Star Beer.

Fuck that fucking Alamo, and fuckin' long-horned steer.

Fuck every Dallas cowboy, that ever draw'd a breath

Fuck you, Texas, and fuck you plumb to death!

Well, I'm headed for the border line

Anyplace else'll be just fine

As long as there's a job and a decent place to sleep

Get up each mornin' with my ass-a-flexin'

And give birth to yet another Texan

And write a song as he slips between my cheeks!

So, fuck you, Texas, and fuck your Lone Star Beer.

Fuck that fucking Alamo, and fuckin' long-horned steer.

Fuck every Dallas cowboy, that ever draw'd a breath

Fuck you, Texas, and fuck you plumb to death!

Fuck you, Texas, and fuck your Lone Star Beer.

Fuck that fucking Alamo, and fuckin' long-horned steer.

Fuck every Dallas cowboy, that ever draw'd a breath

Fuck you, Texas, and fuck you plumb to death!