How To Be A Good Troll
This article is going to serve as a guide to newcomers and other such people for how to be a good Ghost troll. The basic requirements include a working computer/phone, a little bit of "common sense", creativity, and some technical ability. A troll must also understand his 'environment', because trolling Ghost is different than trolling in other online venues such as games and forums.
The first rule of trolling Ghost for newcomers is that he most likely knows you are a troll. Therefore, you must pull something on him quick without an extended baiting period, (the exception being 'characters' such as Ghetto Capitalist and the African Booty Scratcher, who build themselves and their quirks out of Ghost's nerves and what he dislikes over time, but that's a discussion for elsewhere) like in many other websites and/or other venues.
It's also different from trolling (either) Goofy and/or Debi Daly means it's harder to troll him with quality and consistency because, in this case, the chance is high that he is going to counter troll you whenever you troll him.
Note: All of these rules have exceptions, all of which generally apply to being a part of your characters, except for the characters section, which is limited to downplaying the use of characters for things such as one-shots and intentionally tepid/vapid characters.
Before you go onto his show live and stumble out a sentence fragment on the air for the first time without even being prepared, you need to be versed in who Ghost is and how the show runs. But before we talk about that, let's discuss your computer:
Does it stutter a lot? Do you get frequent lag issues? You may want to get those checked out before even picking up your phone or enabling Skype. Virtually nobody likes a failtroll and many of them screw up because of their computer shorting out. Some fail trolls have even seemingly hung up, but what actually happened is that their computer completely froze on them. It seems ludicrous, but having a functioning computer is half of the battle in many cases.
When you want to start calling Ghost, the proper way to do so is with Skype and with Stereo Mix enabled - landline phones make a tinny, low quality sound and therefore, Ghost will not spend time trying to decipher whatever is coming out of it. Use a phone if you're talking to Ghost. It's perfectly fine to talk to Ghost on Skype; just use a good microphone. And do not use more than one phone at once: any more will create a nasty echo.
Do not use any phones that Ghost deems an Obamaphone (ex: an iPhone). These will output low quality sounds that Ghost will outright dismiss, and it will ruin any good splice or remix that you had intended to play. Since Skype no longer works, Google Hangouts is a good alternative to play good quality audio. 386SX Computers also won't work because of the computer's speed will interfere with the quality of the call.
One of the newest methods of calling in is using the FreeConferenceCall app, which Ghost himself uses to run Radio Graffiti. Ghost gives us most of the instructions before every Radio Graffiti segment starts, but if you call in using the FreeConferenceCall, you're only required to put in a name and the meeting ID "ghostshowline". For instructions on how to call in using FreeConferenceCall, see FreeConferenceCall
This is the basic rule for almost any situation, especially in the troll world. No matter how smart you are, it's not going to matter if you are attempting to use an used up trolling device or meme. It's a good idea to watch a good amount of Youtube videos (Both the DarkRazorZ and Elfoxoloco channels are great starting points) and listen to some live and archived episodes before you even think of calling in. Make sure you've read most of the big pages on this wiki to know what's been done before, and to understand the show and community. You should check out our Failtroll Tactics to see what not to do when calling Ghost.
Just have good sense when it comes to using things over and over again. Also calling up and yelling something at Ghost is often ineffective as is just calling him a racist (not everyone can be Suck Mah Dick Guy).
If you're plumb out of ideas to use, check out the Trolling Tactics page on the Wiki to understand what is primarily used. Don't pass on the 'Failtroll' section either, as you also want to be aware of what doesn't get you success and/or respect and/or likability here.
The best trolls tend to be those who have crafted a persona or character to troll Ghost with. Examples of this are Ghetto Capitalist, Tri$ha, Germit the Gay Frog or the African Booty Scratcher. All of these trolls have crafted personas that are in opposition of Ghost's beliefs and use this the annoy or troll him. Crafting a character takes work and a natural sense of imitation or acting. However having a personality is often the biggest challenge for Ghost trolls. A story or gimmick is also normally used for calls. Being able to develop a storyline with your character is also a great idea. Ghetto Capitalist often calls up and talks about hood antics or EBT schemes. Asho would call up and make up stories about abuse and teen delinquency that will send Ghost into a rage about dishrag whores or attempt to act as a parent with Asho. A story is helpful but not necessary. Sometimes just a clever comment and/or a certain topic of discussion is enough if you got a solid enough character. Equestrian Citizen would call and discuss Ghost's racist attitude. This would normally be just another troll calling Ghost racist, but EQ's character (a black brony) was interesting enough (and EQ was good on the spot) to make it work. Don't underestimate the aesthetics of a call. Small things matter and executing said call properly is key. For example, GhettoCapitalist's crying baby in the background was a small touch that added to his calls and made them sound somewhat believable.
If you are considering creating a character, there was no better resource to examine than Ghetto Capitalist's YouTube Channel that had most of his trolling clips. You can see how he created a character and a storyline that enraged Ghost during the pre-Return era.
Another thing to do is not to rip off a popular troll. Don't try copying the already-established characters, such as the Suck Mah Dick Guy, the Internet Buttstalker or any other popular troll by copying their routine directly. Originality is necessary to make a call good. Playing Fuck You Texas (pre-Return), Daniel Bryan Splices (post-Return) or Rick & Morty (post-Break) won't annoy him due to their overuse during the different eras of the show.