Mah Keedz

From True Capitalist Radio Wiki
"Mah Keeds" lady as immortalized in an autograph sold at

"Mah Keedz" is both a term used by Ghost after talking to a Ghetto caller, although not commonly, and it is also the title of a story frequently told by Ghost during his True Capitalist Radio broadcast. The story takes place in one of Ghost's supposed Brick and Mortar businesses down in Austin, Texas. It was also sold as merchandise from Ghost's store,

Plot Summary

A "fat, jelly-ass, skankasaurus" waddles into Ghost's store with several kids trailing behind her. She waddles around the store and finds some item she brings up to the front to buy. She goes up and says

"Yeah, baby, I see this item, this, this right here, this item says that it's ten dollars, but I only got fou' dollars, baby. So break it down, I'm gonna give you fou' dollars and you give me this right here, and I'mma give you fou' dollars, how 'bout that?"

Ghost gives her a stern look of shock and disgust and says "Hey look, it says ten dollars, alright, this is a retail location, you're going to have to pay ten dollars ma'am, I'm sorry."

She looks at if as if he "just farted on her Sunday dress or something" and says "but you're not understandin', baby, I got fou' dollars, you give me this baby."

Ghost shouts "no, I'm not gonna give it to you, it's ten dollars."

The woman raises her voice and says "But you're not understandin' baby, mah keedz, my kiiiidssss, myyy kiiiiidddzz, baby, you're not understanding. I give you fou' dollars and you give me this fo' my kidsss, baby."

Ghost tries to keep his cool and he says "Look ma'am, it's ten dollars, either pay it or get out."

She begins shouting "mah keedz".

Ghost threatens to call the cops. She starts running out of the store and smashing stuff, "throwin' crap around".

Ghost discusses his limited options, stating that now if he calls the police on the woman, "her cousins Junebug and T-Bone are gonna come and armed-rob the place".


This story is a quality example of Junkyard America that Ghost frequently discusses. Ghost has also taken to using the phrase "Mah Keedz" to refer ironically to "welfare babies" in other instances as well.


During Capitalist Episode 489, Ghost announced the sale of Mah Keedz autographs, whose sales would determine the fate of the length of the Saturday Night Troll Show. Ultimately, fans and trolls were able to sell enough that the Troll Show was expanded to be a 3 hour show.