Mr. Fortune Cookie

From True Capitalist Radio Wiki

Mr. Fortune Cookie is probably the most frequently heard of Ghost's 'guests'. This is due to the claim that BlogTalkRadio broadcasts within the borders of China. Because of this China requires that a spokesman replies to any commentary made by a BTR host on China. Mr. Fortune Cookie is this spokesman.

It is clear that Ghost is really Mr. Fortune Cookie and the whole act is fake. That doesn't stop Ghost from running some Chinese music and putting on a fake accent for about 5 minutes. Most fans are annoyed by Mr. Fortune Cookie but some have learned to appreciate Ghost's bad acting and racist interpretation of a Chinese communist.

On occasion Ghost has been known to pronounce his name as Mr. 4chan Cookie.

The Character

Mr. Fortune Cookie's autograph on
Communist propaganda for Mr. Fortune Cookie

For the whole duration of the conversation, stereotypical Chinese folk music plays in the background. Mr. Fortune Cookie frequently brings up topics like the South China Sea, Chinese ownership of US debt, rounding up capitalists into labor camps, and sticking chopsticks or ginsu knives up people's assholes. Whenever Mr. Fortune Cookie has to justify China's actions, he always responds with 'We do it for CHAAAYAMAN MAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOO' (Chairman Mao). He more often than not ends his segment by vomiting loudly due to 'bad eggrolls' and the phrase 'I have nothing else to say. I am Mr. Fortune Cookie, thank you very muuuch!'.

Ghost then often hurriedly ushers him off and sometimes apologizes for the apparently necessary segment.